Saturday, September 14, 2013

The Week That Was

Sacred or profane? Your choice.

I was at church this past Sunday, and the choir director told me that she wanted me to provide the music for a service at the end of October.  She said, "The topic is sin."  I said, "Sin? Ooooh!" She said, "Yeah, we thought you'd say that.  We thought of sin and right away we thought of you."

So when people think of sin, they think of me.  FUCK YEAH!  I feel like I've arrived.

In other choir news, at practice Thursday, the director gave me a fat solo in a gospel piece the choir is doing in a couple of weeks.  So, I guess when people think of gospel, they also think of me.  And, truthfully, both the sin and gospel associations are so appropriate that it's tough to think of which is more apt.  Or which I like more.


I believe I am in the midst of another dating-type situation going south, and because this now happens with some minor frequency, I have developed a new acronym: YARD, or Yet Another Romantic Disappointment.

Please note that I have used "acronym" appropriately here.  People these days (the bastards!) routinely use "acronym" when they should use "abbreviation."  An acronym is (properly, that is: the descriptivist motherfuckers who run our online dictionaries these days will change the definition of a word any time a few people start misusing it) an abbreviation that can be pronounced on its own.  So, for example, if I'm talking about a friend with privileges, and I use the term FWP, that can be either a simple abbreviation -- if you say "eff double you pee" -- or it can be an acronym -- if you say "fwip," like I do.  The relative ease of making that an acronym is why I prefer FWP to the more common FWB.  I think that saying "fwib" sounds ungainly and a little ridiculous.  YMMV (abbreviation, not acronym, thanks).

Anyway, having this particular brand spanking new acronym is, on the whole, better than having this particular guy, and I'm sure I'll have plenty of occasions to use it in the future.

I think "Descriptivist Motherfuckers" would be a great name for a punk band.  Sadly, I don't play any instruments, and my voice is all wrong for being a punk front man. Still, a boy can dream.

Tangentially, am I the only one who's amazed at how little time it took for "motherfucker" to go from being taboo to commonplace?  Five or six years ago, it's something I would never have said (and, yes, I know I'm late to the motherfucking party), and nowadays it elicits not a twinge.  I'm not sure what's left that you can call someone if you truly want to offend him.  I'm partial to "douchenozzle" for people I legitimately despise, but I'm not sure that really bothers anyone, either. Alas.

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